One thing I rarely talk about is my anger. I was talking to a friend the other day about how it’s okay to stop for a second and not say what a blessing this life is. It’s okay to say that it sucks. Really really sucks. I love our son with special needs with all my heart. I love every single hair on his beautiful head. I love his grin and I could bottle his little giggle and keep it forever. I love him, but there are many days when I don’t love the journey. The journey of anger, jealousy, sadness, and heartache. I’m angry that last week I cried…

I woke up this morning, mourning. Our son was crawling. It was Christmas morning and he started to get up on all fours and move. I grabbed my phone to record and remember thinking that no gift was ever going to compare to watching him crawl.  I yelled to my husband to come quickly. Our son was grinning and trying to get away in his adorable red and green footie pajamas. He crawled over gifts with shiny bows and under the Christmas tree. Then I opened my eyes. It was just a dream. I got out of bed and went to his crib and saw his endearing smile. The tears…