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    Still here

    The other night Christopher was looking off. His eyes were fixed and he was on his side. My heart rate picked up and I felt adrenaline rush through my body. He rolled to his back and snapped back to his smiley self. He was fine. But I wasn’t.  I was back in the hospital – a year ago. I was standing outside the MRI room with Christopher unresponsive on the bed. The nurses were silent and hesitant. They had already given him 3 doses of rescue meds but the medications weren’t calming his brain.  He needed an MRI but he wouldn’t stop desatting. His oxygen saturation would plummet under 40…